life is everything

i dont understand suicide. i dont understand why people die young. i dont understand why i cried my eyes out about a girl who committed suicide that i hardly knew. i dont think people realize the importance of life. i know things get real hard sometimes, and things happen, sad things, bad things, devastating things. but nothing is more important in life than life itself. every second im alive, i hope to make the most of. im so terrified of dying young. im terrified of losing people. im so upset and distraught by the idea that tomorrow my best friend could be gone. or that my heart could just stop beating. it scares the absolute shit outta me. i hate when people are sad. i hate when people are sick, homeless, depressed. i just wish everyone could be healthy and happy all the time. and i know that seems far from realistic, but things like this break my heart. im realizing from all of this and as i grow older that i need to apologize more, smile more, enjoy life more, tell the people that mean most 'i love you', and not ever for one second take life for granted. im never going to drive drunk, and i just pray to god everytime i drive, that people stop drinking and driving. i pray that i dont get killed one day from one. or that my family or friends do either. but you cant control other people's actions. what you can choose is your will to live.. i mean can you imagine...what itd be like if you just died? everyone who knew you and loved you would be devastated. the world just gets cold when things like this happen. i want to see the future 50 years from now. and i want to see you in it too. god if one of my friends committed suicide, id lose it. i just hope if YOU read this and you ever feel like comitting suicide, call me. call me the second you feel it. reach out to me when your struggling because i want to help other people. id rather do everything i can to try and brighten your day than read your obituary in the newspaper. blaaah, so sad. she was on the path to absolute success and now she's gone. RIP marissa mcleod. and like i said, above all--life is everything. without it, you have nothing. so live more. feel more. be more. but please please, dont disappear on me.